Michael, Michael, motorcycle
When I was in 1st grade, this stupid idiot 5th grader used to taunt me with this chant:
Michael, Michael, motorcycle,
Turn on the key, and watch him pee!
Oh yeah, you’ve got yourself a real classic there, Whitman. Aside from the nonsense rhyming associations and inexcusable grammar, what was a 5th grader doing taunting a 1st grader? I never understood the concept of bullying across vast age ranges. But that didn’t stop me from turning that concept on it’s head. I told my dad about what went down and he applied his learned intellect to craft this little gem:
Dirk, Dirk, what a jerk!
Bought a car that wouldn’t work!
Hahahah, so true, so true! Aside from the fact that a 41-year old was now taunting a 10-year old, boy oh boy was that sweet revenge! When I belted that one out, the entire schoolyard was in hysterics, laughing in that poor sap’s stupid face!
“That moron spent money on an automobile… that doesn’t even turn on!”
“Who now?”
“The ugly fellow over there, getting the crap beat out of him by Mike!”
“Oh, Dirk! Wow, what a loser! His repuation is forever tarnished. He won’t be managing my finances any time soon, let me tell you. I’m gonna go give Mike a hand!”
“Yeah, count me in! These fists miss the feeling of being pounded against the face of a moron!”
Hahaha! Still brings a smile to my face to this day. Come to think of it, Michael “Motorcycle”… I kind of like that. It has a nice ring to it, wouldn’t you say? “The name’s Michael, Michael Motorcycle. Pleased to meet you, Mr. President.”
[Extended version of the above skit with surprise ending.
“Your fists miss the pounding, eh? I hope you’re not too rusty, Harrison.”
“What’s that, Cowboy? You calling me old? I’m only 42. I’ve been a bopper since 1974 and I can still bop with the best of them!”]
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Commenting options at bottom.You are becoming odder and odder as the minutes pass…
Once again ladies and gentlemen, more misunderstood musings of a moron (MMMM).
Mike, Mike, went on strike,
And fell in love with a butchy dyke!
(DISCLAIMER: This is in NO way a reflection of what I think of Natalie)
Natalie, I hope you’re reading this, I had to add that statement in order to flee from your wrath. HAHAHAHAHA! You know I love you!
“More misunderstood musings of a moron.” That’s great. That’s my second choice for the name of my blog. Right after my first choice: “More misunderstood musings of the mindless moron Michael Michael Motorcycle” (MMMMMMMM). Unfortunately the “Scrambled Brains” brand already has such widespread awareness that it would be suicide to change it now!